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Tuesday, July 11, 2017

Ned Denison, The Legend Grows

Courtesy of WOWSA, Cork Distance Week, Ireland.

The legend of Ned Denison continues to grow with every Cork Distance Week, his insanely intense preparation week for die-hard hardened marathon swimmers currently underway in Cork, Ireland.

Apparently, rumor has it that he has done the following:

1. Swum across the toughest channels in the world without any feeding stops; he just sucked on a bit of seaweed for hydration.
2. Is nearly fluent in whistling with dolphins.
3. Can easily walk on hot molten lava coastlines in Hawaii as he can on the snow-packed shorelines of Norway in mid-winter.
4. Picks up rocks on the beaches where he swims and can crush the granite to powder in his bare hands.
5. Doesn't really need goggles to see clearly in salt water; he just uses goggles as a fashion statement.
6. Creates his own bioluminescence by thinking positive thoughts.
7. Increased his height by 20 cm after getting serious about the sport of open water swimming.
8. Consulted with Steven Spielberg about the true behavior of Great White Sharks for the movie Jaws.
9. Played water polo with Johnny Weissmuller and surfed with Duke Kahanamoku under an alias.
10. Kayaked across the Catalina Channel using only his hands.

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