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Saturday, April 4, 2015

How To Be Lazy In Swimming

Courtesy of WOWSA, Huntington Beach, California.

When swimmers get together - in real life or online - they often share how much they are training, how difficult their last swim was, how sore they are or how busy they are managing their workouts and work.

They talk about the turbulence they face in the ocean, the cold temperatures they endure throughout the winter, the pace they keep over thousands of meters, the pain they must overcome, the responsibilities they must balance.

The tougher the swim and workouts are, the more respect and awe seem to be generated.

On the other end of the industriousness scale are teenagers.

As much as the Baby Boomers and young adults are busting at the seams working overtime and over vacations, at least some teenagers have creative ways to explain why they cannot workout. Their ability to instantly come up with excuses and reasons why they have to sit out a workout or avoid the endless frenetic hustle of their elders is well-documented:

* My shoulders hurt [as their opposite hand rubs their shoulder]
* I only got 6 hours of sleep last night [as they yawn or rub their eyes]
* I slept on my shoulder last night [as their opposite hand rubs their shoulder]
* I didn't get a good night of sleep [as they yawn or rub their eyes]
* I stepped on something [as they limb or stand askew]
* Something bit me [as they frown]
* I have an earache [as they hold or rub their ear]
* I have a stomachache [as they bend over or speak softly]
* My head hurts [as their hand rests on their skull]
* I ate something [as they hold their stomach or speak in muffled tones]
* I have a test tomorrow [as they look down at the ground]
* I have so much homework
* My hand hit the lane line [or buoy]
* I ran into the wall [as they hold their head]
* He ran into me [as they point to a teammate]
* My fins are too small
* My snorkel doesn't work
* My goggles keep filling up
* My goggle strap broke
* My suit string snapped
* My parents have to leave early
* We were stuck in traffic

What creative excuses have you heard or said to a coach?

Email your excuses - valid or not, real or made-up - here via headcoach@openwatersource.com.

Photo shows Stephanie Peacock and Chip Peterson, two distance freestylers who most definitely never gave excuses throughout their academic and swimming careers at the University of North Carolina.

Copyright © 2015 by World Open Water Swimming Association

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