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Wednesday, March 6, 2013

If There Were A Galactic Open Water Swimming Competition

If beings from around the galaxy were open water swimmers and had an open water swimming competition on Planet Earth, this might be the out-of-the-box prognostications:

The team from Neptune, captained by Poseidon, is the overwhelming favorite and has been undefeated since time began in intergalactic competitions, although Team Mercury gives them a tough battle in the sprints.

For swimmers from Venus are water temperature is too cold on Planet Earth, but the Martians think it is too warm.

However, both the teams from Saturn and Jupiter do not breathe air so they just put their heads down and swim and swim and swim.

Race directors try to eliminate communication confusion by using multi-lingual officials, but the head coaches of most of the galactic teams have been to Roswell during their careers so they have passable English skills.

Ages mean nothing in these competitions as the swimmers from Mercury are much older than all the other teams, and everyone from Uranus and Pluto have ages still in the single digits.

Pluto was asked to renounce their association in the galactic membership a few years ago, but they were grandfathered in and will continue to participate. Starship Enterprise offers a sponsorship deal on flights for all planetary teams on its out-of-this-world program.

Copyright © 2013 by Open Water Swimming

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This, for example, was the purpose of the traditional farmers almanacs. It enabled farmers to determine as accurately as possible which crops to plant for the greatest harvests in a given year.

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In fact, there is even one for open water swimming...

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The trends are very clear.
The tide is rising for open water swimming.

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